Tuesday, September 21, 2010

When decisions are like ingrown toenails:
a fierce decision was made, picked, pinched, pulled back, and in a swift movement all that's left is a broken piece of fiber. An exposing rip. With time it grows trying to heal itself, but the new growth is in the wrong direction, the decision is irreversible, and a superficial treatment is just a delay. Time and time again she can't fix it, the Korean nail artist looks and in sad conclusion-- too deep, it's too deep -- she says. So she trims down the flesh with short gentle moves, trying to encourage the nail to grow in the right direction. Maybe this time it will not petrude into the flesh, maybe it will grow slower and be correct. But the cycle is repeated. And she says every time, looking up with that fallen smile -- too deep, i try but it's too deep -- so she paints the new color of red and knows it will be the same in three weeks.

When mistakes are like ingrown toenails the dull annoying pain flares up with everyday use and it stays that way because it's necessary. Self broken. Self fake fix.