Spring Break has sucked. Bad.
Classes resume tomorrow and I couldn't be in a worse mood. I am in a state of upset, pissed off, twitchy gloom. I think it is mostly due to not walking as much. I walk to class every day and with not having class for a week I've done a lot of drinking and sleeping. If I remember correctly from eighth grade health class, alcohol isn't loaded with dopamine. So after a week of nothing, my parents came up for my little sister's birthday. They have been divorced for almost five years and manage to sit at the same table and eat a meal, in public mind you, in peace. However, I made sure that they didn't sit next to each other and somehow ended up between them; the glass of wine helped. Then, to add to that I come to find out my mom has a boyfriend- my MOM! I am happy for her, I really am. I can't imagine how it feels to be divorced after nineteen years of marriage and then to find out through your kids that your ex-husband has numerous girlfriends. Her having someone is long overdue. But it upsets me a little and re-affirms my notion that I have written across my forehead, in ink only visible to the male eye, DO NOT DATE ME. I just don't get it. My friend Rachel tells me I don't put off the right vibe; a vibe that says 'yes talk to me, yes I am single, yes date me'. What the hell? Does that vibe include layers of make-up, a low cut shirt, push-up bra complete with gel-filled inserts, and an annoying laughter? If it does, count me out. I prefer rock bands, Pabst Blue Ribbon and bourbon, shooting pool, and being independent. Maybe my problem is that diagnosis plastered at the top of the page. I have been successfully avoiding writing about that. I have mixed feelings about it being there. But I know I started this blog for a reason, so I will leave it there. Eventually, I will write about why I choose to put it there- when I have time to figure out why I did it.
Enough. This is what happens when you sit at the keyboard and just type. I have class tomorrow and school work to do.